I need to think of something. I need to cover up the mess I made. It needs to look bad, not good. My mind races, as does my heart. Why do I always fuck up this way?
On the table is a tin of tomato concentrate. I open it. I take one of her pristine, white socks and a spoon full of red mush. Firmly I rub the stuff into the sock. It needs to look bad. It needs t look like blood. It needs to explain why she disappeared. The girl seemed so desperate. She felt like a close friend within a few minutes. I place the sock in somewhere on the sofa, in plain view of the webcam. It will look puzzling, scary even, hopefully. They will not suspect she ran away.

For years I have practiced traveling light. For years I have failed. Always too much stuff in mu suitcase. But now I finally know how to do it. Just leauve most stuff at home! So this time I packed a small box with only one sock (in caseI suffer from a cold foot) a spoon (which comes in handy when I need to eat liquid stuff), a pansiment, a tin of tomato paste. Just before I took off I added a the tiny white thing women definely need once a month. That should be it.

I tried to explain de Dutch term “erin geluisd.” But now its to time go in.

sorry